There’s no single moment that tells you it’s time to find a mentor. In my experience working with HR professionals at every stage of their career, it’s rarely one big trigger. It’s more often a mix of feeling stuck, standing at a genuine crossroads, or simply wanting to build on the expertise you already have by learning from someone who has walked a similar path.
If you’ve been sitting with a question about your career for weeks or months without getting any closer to an answer, that’s usually a good sign mentoring could help.
The moments that tend to bring people to mentoring
A few situations come up again and again with the HR professionals I mentor. Feeling stuck is a common one, where you know something needs to shift but can’t quite name what. Standing at a career crossroads is another, particularly decisions about which direction to specialise in or whether to stay broad. And then there’s a simpler one: wanting to deepen your knowledge in a particular area by drawing on someone who’s actually worked in that space.
None of these need to be a crisis. Mentoring works just as well for someone who’s simply curious about where they could take their career next.
A crossroads I’ve seen up close
One of the clearest examples of this was someone I mentored who was trying to decide whether to stay a generalist, move into a HR business partner role, or specialise in employee and industrial relations. She was genuinely drawn to the ER and IR space but wasn’t sure what specialising would mean for her career longer term.
This is a decision I’ve lived myself. I started my career as a generalist, then spent several years specialising in industrial relations before moving back into generalist work. That specialisation gave me a grounding in industrial relations I still draw on today, and it changed how I show up as a generalist. Being able to speak to that from my own experience, rather than just in the abstract, made a real difference to how we worked through her decision.
What we actually did
There’s no universally right answer to a question like generalist versus specialist. What matters more is understanding why someone is leaning one way or the other. Are they making the decision based on what they genuinely want, or based on what they think others expect of them?
We worked through a series of questions to uncover the beliefs sitting underneath her decision, some of which she was fully aware of and some she wasn’t. From there, we built a plan around what actually mattered to her and the steps that would get her closer to it.
This particular thread ran for around two months within a broader six month mentoring relationship, meeting roughly every three weeks. That’s worth flagging, because mentoring rarely stays focused on just one issue. Most relationships end up covering a number of things as someone’s goals and questions evolve.
When mentoring isn’t the right fit
If you’re looking for someone to make a decision for you, mentoring probably isn’t what you need right now. A mentor can share their experience and offer suggestions based on what they’ve lived through, but the decision itself has to stay yours. I’d encourage anyone coming into a mentoring relationship to hold the mindset that you’ll weigh up the experience shared with you, but the call is ultimately yours to make.
If you’re in a place of real uncertainty and hoping someone else will tell you what to do, that’s a sign to pause before starting.
Does career stage matter?
Not as much as people assume. Mentoring tends to be more about the individual than where they sit on the career ladder. It’s just as useful for someone starting out as it is for someone stepping up into their next role, or someone senior looking for a sounding board from another experienced practitioner. I’ve mentored across all of these stages, and the value shows up differently each time, but it shows up.
How to find the right mentor for you
Before committing to any mentoring relationship, I’d always recommend an initial conversation first, at least thirty minutes, whether that’s over video or in person. This isn’t just a formality. It’s your chance to work out whether you connect with this person, whether you feel heard, and whether you feel safe and comfortable being open with them.
Questions worth asking
It’s worth asking about their experience and what they’re able to share with you, any relevant accreditations, and whether they can point you to references from people they’ve mentored before. Do your research. But the real question to sit with after that first conversation is simpler: did you walk away feeling like they could genuinely add value to your situation?
Mentoring versus coaching
These two terms get used interchangeably, but they’re quite different, and I think that distinction matters.
A mentor shares their own experience, knowledge and insight with you. That might mean offering advice, making recommendations, and listening closely, all within a collaborative partnership. A coach works differently. Coaching starts from the belief that you already have the answers within you. Through insightful questioning, a coach helps you reflect on your own beliefs and assumptions and arrive at your own actions and plans. A coach won’t offer advice or share their own expertise. Their role is to ask the questions that help you access what you already know.
Understanding which one you actually need is often the first useful step.
What people say about working with me
Rather than tell you what mentoring with me looks like, I’ll let a few people who’ve worked with me speak to it directly.
Julie Hunter, who I managed previously, said she valued me “as a coach and mentor” thanks to the emotional intelligence and industrial relations knowledge I brought to our work together. Jessica Boyce described me as “not just a leader but a mentor who is able to convey concepts and ideas to her team and clients with ease.” And Pattie Camargo, reflecting on our time working together, said I went “over and beyond my duties to assist with her career development.”
These are the kinds of relationships I want to keep building through the HR Mentoring Program.
Ready to explore whether mentoring is right for you?
If any of this sounds familiar, whether you’re stuck, at a crossroads, or just want to build your expertise alongside someone who’s been where you are, reach out to lock in an initial discovery call to see how HR mentoring could support you.