I once watched a resignation take shape from the moment an employee was promoted. They were genuinely excited about the opportunity. The problem was that the role they stepped into looked very different from the role that was described. Expectations were never made clear, so they built a project on the limited scope they had. When they presented it, the feedback was that it missed the mark, even though every conversation before that point had assured them things were on track. When they asked for the information they needed to do the job properly, very little came back.
Over the following months, the change was gradual. Their ideas dried up, they went quiet in meetings, and the discretionary effort that once defined their work gave way to a clock in, clock out approach. When the resignation finally landed, the leader was blindsided. Looking back, the signals had been visible for months.
That situation reflects something the standard resignation checklists miss. The signs rarely appear out of nowhere. They build, usually in response to how someone is being led.
The earliest sign is the one nobody notices
In my experience, the first shift happens well before anyone goes quiet in meetings. The employee stops asking questions. Curiosity fades, and instead of looking for better or more effective ways to do things, they complete the tasks in front of them and nothing more.
This one is easy to miss because on the surface it can look like compliance, or even efficiency. The work still gets done and deadlines are still met. What has actually happened is that the person has stopped investing in the future of their role.
A quick test: think back over your last three conversations with the team member you are wondering about. Did they ask you anything? If the questions have stopped, pay attention.
Struggling or leaving? You cannot tell from the outside
Here is where I want to challenge the whole premise of spotting the signs. Going quiet and doing the bare minimum can also mean someone is burnt out, bored, or dealing with something difficult at home. From the outside, a person who is about to resign and a person who is struggling but staying can look identical.
The distinction only becomes clear in conversation, which is why I tell every leader that intentional one to ones are one of the most important parts of the job. Meeting regularly to check in on how someone is going, the challenges they are facing and the support they need gives you context that observation alone never will. Resolving what happens outside of work sits beyond your role as a leader, but awareness of it often explains what you are seeing inside it.
The quality of those conversations matters as much as the frequency. Ask open questions, and get comfortable sitting with silence rather than rushing to fill it. Notice when something feels different for that person specifically. Above all, build enough trust that they will tell you the truth. Without that, a one to one is a calendar entry and little else.
The point of no return is closer than you think
Early in my career, I resigned from my first HR role. The business convinced me to stay, and I withdrew my resignation. It did not last, because the reasons I resigned in the first place were still there. Nothing had actually changed.
That experience shaped my view on counteroffers. Can you win someone back once they have resigned? Sometimes, if you genuinely identify what drove the decision and act on it. In my experience though, by the time the resignation letter arrives, the person usually has one foot out the door. The window for action was months earlier, back when the questions stopped.
What losing a good employee actually costs
The most significant loss is implicit knowledge. You can document procedures and write excellent position descriptions, but you cannot replace experience. Everything that person knows about your business, your clients and how things really work walks out the door with them.
The second cost is the impact on the team and your clients. People often connect with an individual rather than a company, and when someone with strong client relationships leaves, those relationships are at risk. Managed poorly, it can cost you the client too.
Then there are the more visible costs: advertising, screening, interviewing and onboarding. Depending on the role, it can take anywhere from two weeks to six months before a new person is contributing at the level the business needs.
Be careful with the standard lists
More annual leave, a refreshed LinkedIn profile, dressing differently for work. These appear on every list of resignation signs, and each of them could mean any number of things. Treating them as evidence leads you to make assumptions about your people, and assumptions damage the very trust that would give you a real answer.
One of my clients had a long-term employee approach them openly to say they felt it was time to look for their next opportunity. Together they planned a supported transition. That conversation happened because the employee acted with integrity, and because the business had built an environment where honesty felt safe. That is the real goal: a culture where nobody needs to hide their thinking.
What to do in the next fortnight
If you are recognising these signs in someone right now, awareness is only the first half. Start by reflecting on whether you have been holding regular one to ones with them. If you have not, book one, and go in with curiosity rather than an agenda. Seek to understand before being understood. Ask open questions about what is working, what is frustrating them and what support they need.
If they share something confronting, listen without reacting in anger, frustration or disappointment. A defensive response confirms every reason they had for going quiet. Take what they tell you, reflect on it, and come back with a clear plan to address what they have raised. Then lock in regular catch-ups to make sure the plan holds.
The uncomfortable truth
Most resignations can be traced back to how someone was led. In the promotion story I opened with, the employee did not drift away on their own. Vague feedback, withheld information and false reassurance drove the disengagement, one interaction at a time. If you are seeing the signs in a member of your team, the most useful place to look next is at your own leadership.
That reflection is hard to do alone, and you do not have to. Whether you need hands-on HR support in your business or want to build your own capability as a leader, book a discovery call and we can talk about what is really going on in your team.